Daria Barkovskaya is an IT project manager. Seven years ago, she needed a bone marrow transplant. Her donor was her mother, Elvira Barkovskaya, a paramedic. They are participating in the Project “I Will Live!”
together.
A Diagnosis That Wasn't Scary
Daria: In 2017, my temperature started to rise. For quite a long time, I didn't pay attention to it, ignored it for several months, and kept working. Then at some point, it became clear that I needed to go to the hospital. At first, I ended up in nephrology, then I was transferred to the NMRC for Hematology, and there they discovered that I had lymphoma. I went through several rounds of chemotherapy, had a 9-month remission, and then in early 2019, I had a relapse. In the spring of 2019, I underwent bone marrow transplant.
I knew nothing about this disease, and even when I was diagnosed, I didn't particularly look into the details or read about it. I completely trusted the doctors. I remember lying in the ICU, the doctors came to me and said that now they understood what I had—large B-cell lymphoma. I was actually glad that there was finally no uncertainty and that I had the thought, “These doctors will definitely save me!” I never thought it was a terrible diagnosis.
Always Ready! For Surprises...
Daria: In 2011, I had a kidney transplant. I was 25 at the time. Before that, I had chronic kidney failure and was on hemodialysis for a long time. Perhaps this history with my kidneys, which has been going on since childhood, psychologically prepared me for the oncology story. But as long as I can remember, I've always taken any illness fairly lightly, and overall, I have a very positive outlook on life.
Elvira: Dasha is wonderful- cheerful, smart, positive. She was an excellent student. She went to music school. She did gymnastics and studied English. When she was 11, tragedy struck—acute glomerulonephritis. A very severe case. We were treated for a very long time; we even went to Chicago, where we were consulted and prescribed treatment. In general, we tried different approaches, but it didn't help much, and our Dasha ended up on dialysis. But through all of this, she continued to study wonderfully. She graduated from school with a gold medal, then from university, all while already on hemodialysis. This procedure is usually hard to endure, but my child endured dialysis not necessarily easily, but completely as a part of her life. Life continued, and dialysis was just a part of it. We even traveled to different countries around the world; Dasha herself contacted dialysis centers and made arrangements for her procedures.
In 2011, she decided on a kidney transplant and got on the waiting list. Sometimes it's a long process, but we were lucky—within a month, a donor who was a perfect match was found, and the kidney was transplanted in the spring. Then came years of happy life without any dialysis. A healthy life. Until the lymphoma.
Travel and Dialysis: Is It Really Possible?
Daria: It was a revelation to me that there are dialysis centers all over the world. Although it seems obvious—hemodialysis is needed not only for people in Russia. Many centers can be found online; you can contact them, and everyone communicates in English. Later I learned that there are even special charitable organizations that help patients find a dialysis center in another country. Of course, you have to pay for the procedure, which for me was just part of my vacation expenses. You make the arrangements, they give you a day and time to come, and right in the middle of your vacation, you attend the number of procedures you need. You cleanse your blood and then continue to rest peacefully—it took literally 4 hours once every 3 days and didn't bother me at all. That way, I wasn't tied to a machine in Moscow and traveled wonderfully.
Where Did the Lymphoma Come From?
Elvira: The source of the lymphoma was the immunosuppressive therapy she was on to prevent her body from rejecting the kidney. At first, they offered us a different treatment: remove the kidney, treat the lymphoma, and go back on dialysis. Dasha categorically refused. She said: “I'd rather die, but I won't give up my kidney.” Everyone remembered that. And the doctors started looking for other ways to save the kidney and treat the lymphoma. When it flared up the second time, it was much more severe. Everything was on the brink of life and death. That's when they decided on a bone marrow transplant, but even then, they had many doubts and fears about whether Dasha could endure it.
Daria: The donor was right by my side—it was my mom. As far as I know, the best donor is a brother or sister, but I don't have any. But I have a mom who donated her cells, and everything went very well.
The Disease Receded!
Daria: Even during chemotherapy, I didn't have a “break in my life.” I was having chemo, and the next day I'd go to work and meet up with friends. Of course, I had to spend some time in the hospital, there were fewer trips, a little less energy, I had no hair, but overall I lived my normal life. That's probably why I can't name a distinctly bright moment when I felt the disease had receded, because on one hand, I was living life; on the other hand, treatment was a process that eventually led to the expected result. I think the realization that the disease had receded came about three months after the bone marrow transplant (a truly difficult period), when I finally got out of Moscow and changed my surroundings. I remember finally having more energy, and my mom and I went to St. Petersburg. I could still barely walk, but I no longer had to sit down on the curb every two minutes, so we got together and went. The transplant was in May, and in September we went to St. Petersburg. I love to travel; travel is of great value to me. When I go somewhere, I feel like I'm living a full life, so this trip was important and very happy for me. It was that transition from the illness period to the recovery period.
Elvira: I breathed a sigh of relief when the post-transplant rehabilitation period was over. It was a very tough time. For a month or two after the transplant, Dasha couldn't walk due to weakness; she would sway from side to side. It was very hard. Right after the transplant, she had severe leg pain and needed painkillers. Then we consulted a psychiatrist, who prescribed antidepressants, and the pain went away. And once the pain was gone, and she became more and more active—that's when I finally relaxed.
Theaters and Travels
Daria: My mom and I often travel to different places separately, but we have a tradition: every year on my mom's birthday, I give her a trip, and we head off to some new country, rent a car, and explore different places together. This year we were in Vietnam—Ho Chi Minh City, and then we drove around Phu Quoc Island. In general, the love of travel comes from my mom. Since early childhood, literally from 9 months old, she would take me places. And of course, thanks to her, I had a rich cultural life, especially on trips—museums, theaters. My mom loves art.
Elvira: I go to theaters. Drama theater is everything to me. Opera, ballet, painting. I've probably visited all the great museums in the world and all the opera houses. I love reading and am interested in politics.
What to Do When Things Don't Go as Planned?
Elvira: I didn't need to support myself, because I basically live for my daughter. I believe and always have believed that my love would help her. So I didn't need any help either. The only thing, of course, is that my theater trips are an outlet. My work is, too. I never stopped working.
Daria: To start with, I have two French bulldogs; they don't let me mope—I call it “bulldog therapy.” And in general, I usually don't get nervous, even if something goes wrong. The only times it gets tough are when I'm very tired. Sometimes I don't track my workload and work too much—that's from my mom. It's been very important for me to simply learn to track this so I don't fall into burnout. In those moments, I like to just walk, breathe, and stroll. Or some kind of relaxation practice. I actually have a little list of techniques that help me catch my breath: a walk, a massage, playing with the dogs, seeing friends. And I juggle these various ways to pull myself together if something goes wrong.
There Can Even Be Benefits from Illness...
Daria: I finally started paying attention to my health. Before, I never used to pay attention to my health. If I was sick, I'd take some pills and get treated. But how to avoid falling into stress, get sick less, not get too tired, or avoid overloading myself—I never thought about that. It was only after I went through oncology that I started to take an interest in the topic of health and prevention in general. In that regard, I've started to pay more attention to myself.
The Project “I Will Live!” Is About How Life is Beautiful
Daria: There are people for whom it's very difficult right now to go through treatment or certain stages of recovery. It's great that we can show by our own example that life is wonderful and that it fully recovers after these hard stages are over. I think this is a great project, and I'm glad to be a part of it.
Elvira: I went through all of this just like Dasha did. And secondly, I know that people should become donors, that we shouldn't be a backward country in this regard. People should engage in donation. I've said this before, in interviews, I've talked about how it's not difficult at all, and it's actually wonderful to give your stem cells so that other people can live. Bone marrow donation wasn't a difficult procedure for me. It went very easily. I came in completely happy, lay down. It went in one vein and flowed out the other. Something was dripping, dripping. That was it. Collected. I collected a lot of stem cells. They say there would have been enough for another patient if my cells had matched someone else. After that, I lived a normal life. No rest, no sick leave. Nothing. I went, donated, and that was that.
“The Art of Living”
Is...
Daria: What a difficult question! The art of living is living in such a way that you try to make yourself happy every single day, no matter what. Just live your best life every day. And even if you encounter obstacles along the way, just go through them with a smile and believe in all the good things.
Elvira: Art must be in our lives, and it must bring us joy. Whether you are healthy or sick, you must learn to grasp the beauty of this world. And the beauty of this world, it seems to me, lies precisely in art.
We would like to thank our partner, the decorative cosmetics brand ART-VISAGE, for the wonderful styling of our heroines! Make-up: Nadezhda Shegay. Hair styling: Anna Kasparova.
The “I Will Live!” exhibition will open in September 2026 at the Winzavod Center for Contemporary Art.
