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“My Sister Gifted Me My Second Birthday”

27.09.2024

Maria Samsonenko, the founder of the Leukemia Foundation, took part in the Project "I Will Live!" so that people would find the strength to live on during their illness. 

U-turn

I have been a businesswoman since 2010. I first started in the catering sector, and then began consulting, mediation, and business training. But it wasn't always like that. In 2006, I was diagnosed with leukemia, and my life drastically changed. The treatment took two years. In 2008, I went into remission and realized that something needed to be changed. During treatment, I completed my second university degree, quit my job, and started my own business. 

In 2006, I was treated for flu-like symptoms for two months. After a while, it became clear that it wasn't the flu. After further investigation, I was diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukemia, that is, blood cancer, says Maria Samsonenko, heroine of the Project "I Will Live!" 

"Only a transplant could help me" 

When I got sick, I was 26 years old. I didn't even know what hematology was. However, I knew what cancer was. As a child, our mother had died of breast cancer. They couldn’t save her, and my sister and I were young. I was admitted to the Department of Hematology of the 52nd Hospital. The Internet was very bad there, and I couldn't Google it. I only understood that since the word “hematology” included the letters "hemo,” that it had something to do with blood. In general terms, I understood that blood cancer exists, but of course, I didn’t know what leukemia was, and that there are a million different types. A week later, the first tests results came back. I was diagnosed and given an explanation of my diagnosis.

I was prescribed chemotherapy — one, another, many courses.We started preparing for the bone marrow donor search, since in my case, only transplantation could help. I was lucky, my sister Sasha, who is two years younger than me, became my donor. Sasha also began to prepare for transplantation, and in November 2006, I had a bone marrow transplant. Then, the graft-versus-host reaction began, and for one year I floated between the NMRC for Hematology, the hospital, and home. I was diagnosed in March 2006 and went into remission in March 2008. Soon, it will be 16 years, since I had gone into remission. I now celebrate my second birthday in November, and I celebrate it with cheer. My parents gave me one birthday, and my sister gave me the other. 

I was waiting for the transplant as a deliverance and thought that the next day I would be able to go home. I was mentally preparing for the fact that on the 29th of November I would have this transfusion, and I would be healthy. I had been preparing myself for this for a long time.

And, one month after the transplant, the pain began, the habituation of the new bone marrow in my body. I was very surprised. It seemed like everything was supposed to be fine. I didn't expect that something could go wrong, or that something might not work out. I had great faith in recovery, because I had a sister, who genetically suited me, I had a husband who loved me, and I had a dad who, thank God, paid for a huge amount of medicines. This faith helped me. I didn't think for one second that it would be any different. I knew right away that everything would be fine. 

"For the sake of my family, for the sake of our daughter, for the sake of an awesome future"

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My first reaction was denial and resentment. Why me? I held resentment and anger towards everyone around me. I couldn’t understand why this was happening to me, but this feeling passed very quickly. I think it lasted just a couple of days. At the end of March, my husband and I were supposed to have a big wedding. We had been living together for many years. Our daughter was 6 years old. We had planned an event and invited friends, and for some reason I had to stay in the hospital. It was very upsetting. My husband laughed and said that I needed to get well soon to celebrate the wedding next year. It was an incentive for me at the age of 26. 

My dad, my husband, and my sister were with me all the time — the people who loved me and who pulled me out of my situation. I was always very upset by the fact that my mother did not live to see me grow up, have children, or to see my wedding. I really wanted to see my daughter, who was my only daughter at the time, grow up. It gave me a lot of strength. 

I really like Viktor Frankl's book "Say Yes to Life!" When I was ill, I hadn't read it yet, but it seems to me that I have found the reason for why I have to endure all of this, these pains, these torments. I set myself a goal back then, and for what?  For the sake of my family, for the sake of our daughter, for the sake of an awesome future. It will seem strange to many, but I always say that if it were not for this disease, if it were not for leukemia, I would not be so happy now.

What about the kids? 

My husband and I have always wanted children, but leukemia made its own adjustments, and after transplantation, unfortunately, I cannot have any. Having cured one thing, I now have other problems that will stay with me for the rest of my life: excess weight, thyroid problems, and bone problems. We discussed many options, including surrogacy, and decided to consider adoption. In 2013, we attended and passed foster parent education classes, prepared all documents, and joined the queue. For some reason, I thought that the process would go very quickly. It seemed to me that there weren't many people like us. Now, I see how wrong I was. It took us 5 years to find our first child. This is a long process, but perhaps it should be this way, so that foster parents are confident in their decision to adopt. 

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We were looking for an infant girl with blond hair and blue eyes, but there is always a long queue for children like that. People don’t leave beautiful and healthy children at maternity hospitals. Five years later, in March 2017, I once again went to look at the database of babies who were admitted to orphanages or maternity hospitals. The manager, who was working with me, accidentally didn't put some kind of check mark in our questionnaire, and all of the children who were admitted in the last month didn’t show up in the search. On the eighth photo, I saw my future daughter Aisha. She was a dark-skinned girl and very small. She was born very premature at 29 weeks. She laid in an incubator for a long time. We saw her when she had been in at the orphanage for about a week. I looked at the photo and said, ‘arrange for me to see her.’ 

— Would you like to consult with your husband?

— No, I wouldn’t. 

We filed to go see her. I get in the car and say:

— Max, we're going to see the girl tomorrow. 

You have to understand my husband. It had been 5 years since we had been been looking for a child, and by this point we had started treating the process as workflow. He said: 

— Yeah, okay, okay. What's her name? 

— You know, her name is so strange, Aisha. 

My husband paused. 

— And what is her nationality?

 — She's African. 

— Okay, we'll see.

We arrived, and two hours later we decided to take our child home. She was not the one we were looking for, but she was our Aisha. We didn't think about children anymore. Two years passed, and I got a call from a girl that I studied with at the foster parent school. 

‘Masha, I went to the guardianship, they said that a boy had just been born, completely healthy, also African. Your last name is listed as parents who raise children of different races.’

Then I got a call from guardianship and was offered to come and take a look at the baby. My husband and I said no. First of all, we had not considered a boy. Secondly, we had just started to sleep again and get back into a rhythm. Aisha was two years old. Nevertheless, we went to see the baby, and after 6 days ,we took Archie home from the hospital. When we picked up Aisha, she was very ill. She had many terrible diagnoses related to heart and internal organ defects. She was premature, but when she turned one, she was given a clean bill of health. They say that in a family, a child is cured by care, attitude, and love, and this is true. When we picked up Archie, he was healthy and strong. Now we have two Afro-Russian adopted children. Many people are confused, they ask, ‘Do you have African Americans?’ We answer, ‘No, we live in Russia, why African Americans? We have Afro-Russian children.’

Is it possible to say "thank you" to the disease? 

My attending physician was Larisa Anatolyevna Kuzmina. Now she is the head of the Department of Bone Marrow Transplantation at the NMRC for Hematology of the Russian Ministry of Health. I was only able to see her properly after the transplant, in January 2009. Before that, I only saw the eyes of the doctors. They all wore hats and masks. We are still in touch. Then, Vera Alekseevna Vasilieva became my attending. I also constantly go for medical examinations, checkups, at the NMRC for Hematology. For the first 10 years after the transplant, it was mandatory. At first, I came every three months, then every six months, and then once a year. 

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I got a special sense of the value of life. Now, I feel bad if the day goes by in vain. I can't afford to lie aimlessly on the couch all day, because I know that in a single moment it can all disappear. I feel bad wasting time on the couch and watching TV. That's why I say ‘thank you’ to the disease for appearing in my path of life. I want everyone who is currently facing illnesses and difficulties to make a decision, based on my example, that they need to live. This is important. There is always something to live for. All the bad things will remain in the past, and only the good, the brightest, and the best awaits ahead.  

⁠Photographer: Lisa Eshwa 

We would like to thank the wonderful photographer, Lisa Eshwa for participating in the Project “I Will Live!

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