"In 2013, I noticed a small tumor the size of a pea in the front of my neck which did not bother me at all.
As a person who has always taken responsibility for my health, I turned to a local surgeon at a polyclinic. After the examination, the doctor diagnosed me with lymphadenitis and said that these were the consequences of the inflammatory process after colds. Interestingly, I had not been ill for about 30 years, but he prescribed me drops for two months. I drank the drops, but they did not give any effect. The doctor also advised me to do an ultrasound of the abdominal cavity. The results exceeded the doctors' expectations: all abdominal organs were absolutely healthy, like a young 18-year-old girl. That's what the ultrasound specialist said, although at that time, I was already 50 years old. Fluorography, lung X-rays, mammography and blood tests were all normal. At times, only my hemoglobin was low. I was not referred to an oncologist or a hematologist.
Five years passed. The tumor in the neck area increased slightly, and I myself turned to the local oncologist, V.I. Belinsky, who wrote me a referral to the cancer center of Balashikha. And for the first time after the examination, I was told that there was a suspicion of lymphoma.
At the Balashikha polyclinic, I met with a young oncologist (there are no hematologists in our city to this day). The doctor examined me and directed me to undergo 15 examinations.
The results of ultrasound, X-ray, fluorography, and blood were good. Only the CT with contrast revealed some neoplasms of unknown origin in the abdominal cavity and in the right lung.
I asked for a histology, but the doctor said that it would not reveal my exact diagnosis. He offered to do a biopsy of the lymph node. When I asked where I needed to undergo the biopsy, the young oncologist replied: “wherever you want.” He didn't even write me a referral.
I went to local hospitals for a lymph node biopsy operation, but they didn't take me without a referral from an oncologist. And interestingly, nothing had bothered me so far. I felt cheerful, energetic and full of energy. I worked a lot, even on weekends, because people needed my help. By profession, I am a conflict psychologist and a teacher of human technologies — psychology, orthobiotics, conflictology and imagology. I work at the Energia College near Moscow (Reutov, Moscow region), and I love my job.
On the part of students, colleagues and parents of students, I enjoy respect and well-deserved authority. I am the winner of the "Best Teacher of the Year" contest. I am a teacher at heart and by vocation, and for me there is nothing more precious than to bring knowledge and light to children. I love them very much.
And since there are many conflicts in the pedagogical society, I created my own conflictological service, the only one in the Moscow region. It included 12 people — professionals in their field. And we started holding regional, Russian and international scientific and practical seminars to share our experience and innovations with colleagues. We had achieved great success, and there are so many plans for the future ahead!
The summer of 2019 had arrived. I always spend my long vacation in my beloved Minsk, where my elderly mother lives. She is 85 years old. And every year I visit a spa in Minsk at the Academy of Medical Sciences of Balneotherapy — mud baths, a pool with mineral water, hydro-massage, contrast baths, Charcot showers, and saunas. After going through all of these procedures, I realized for the first time that I was getting worse, not better. I had visited there for 10 years, and I always felt that I left there with great results, feeling better.
I felt very weak and had the sweats. All of my external lymph nodes were growing by leaps and bounds. They grew very quickly in the neck, armpits and groin. The nights were cold, but I was hot. I sweated so much that I had to change my clothes 5-7 times a night. I could have rung out my pajamas. And at 6 o'clock in the morning I would run to my favorite job, but for some reason I no longer felt joy and satisfaction from it.
Finally, I begin to realize that the inflammatory process associated with my lymphoma had begun. Fortunately, there is the Internet: I had read everything!
Again, I rushed to the doctor at the Balashikha oncological center, but he had already quit. I got to an experienced oncologist — candidate of medical sciences, associate professor — and he sent me for a biopsy to the oncosurgery department of the Balashikha hospital. I was getting acquainted with my new doctor, an oncosurgeon, a woman who, after seeing all my examinations, sent me for ultrasound of the lymph nodes of the neck to a good private clinic with modern equipment. She also asked to retake all of the blood tests and promised that in a week she would remove the lymph node in my neck and send it for a biopsy.
As soon as the tests and ultrasound of the neck lymph nodes were ready, I immediately called the oncologist-surgeon and asked to be hospitalized. According to the results of the neck ultrasound examination, an experienced doctor immediately determined that I have both malignant and benign nodes. But this news did not surprise me. I was advised to remove the lymph node as soon as possible. I called the oncologist-surgeon on the same day and said that I was ready for the operation. But, unfortunately, the doctor replied that she could not see me, because tomorrow she was going on vacation for three weeks and only after the vacation would she be able to help.
I realized right away that in three weeks my blood tests would become outdated and I would be finished. I rushed to call all of the cancer centers in Moscow to ask them to do a lymph node biopsy for me, but I was told that they could make an appointment no earlier than in a month. I felt that I had three weeks to live, and that in a month it would be too late.
I didn't feel like eating or sleeping. I was tormented by thirst and sweat. My strength had completely left me. I couldn't walk anywhere. I just wanted to lie down.
One day I probed the abdominal cavity and found a tumor the size of a chicken egg in the liver area. And a thought flashed through my head: here is death knocking on life’s door.
Life flashed before my eyes like an instant. I didn't want to die. After all, I was only 56 years old and had big plans for the future! I have three grown children. I decided to tell them my secret, but I tried not to scare them. The first to find out about everything was my eldest son Artem, he was 30 years old. He is a wonderful musician-saxophonist. I gave him my bank card with some savings on it and asked him to bury it in the ancestral cemetery, where all of my relatives and friends are buried, near Minsk. My son was very scared. He had never seen me sick, weak, broken, or sad. I had been healthy all of my life. I had never been ill or taken any medications. I always easily overcame difficulties and was an optimist. I have an iron will and always had a strength of spirit. I had helped people, fortunately, for more than 30 years- a teacher and a psychologist, but yet I couldn't help myself.
Before I passed away, I asked my son to take me to the Church of St. Sergius of Radonezh. There I confessed, took Communion, received my Last rites, touched the relics of all the saints, lit candles, prayed for the health of all of my relatives and friends, and then was invited to Father Herman's chambers. He asked me to write down my name, age and diagnosis. He told me that he would pray for me.
After the service, I felt better. I thanked the Lord for his help and went home. After that, I felt hungry for the first time and ate with pleasure. My son began to constantly recite a prayer for his mother. All of my friends and relatives began to support me with prayers and kind words.
And somehow, looking death right in the eye, I said to myself: "I choose LIFE!” After all, I'm strong, I can handle it, I'm a WINNER in life! So, help will come. We just have to hope and believe. After all, I love life so much!!!
And the next day a miracle happened: my son called his friend, whose young wife at the age of 23 got sick with lymphoma and was cured at the NMRC for Hematology in the lymphoma department. Three years later, she safely gave birth to a healthy baby. The boy is already five years old, a wonderful baby. And Natalia, his mother, had long forgotten about her illness.
Natalia gave me the phone number of her attending hematologist, Candidate of Medical Sciences, Lyubov Y. Kolosova. I called, and the next day I was invited to come for an appointment at the NMRC for Hematology.
Within three weeks, I underwent an in-depth examination: histology, biopsy, cytology and PET-CT. The diagnosis was made with accuracy: mantle B-cell lymphoma, but it no longer sounded like a death sentence to me. I had confidence and hope that they would definitely help, and that salvation would come.
Doctor L.Y. Kolosova invited me to consult Professor, E.E. Zvonkov, a leading Russian scientist in the field of hematology, a great doctor, genius, savior and my guardian angel. On the same day, he put me in his department and introduced me to young, but very successful hematologists - Daria A. Koroleva and resident Olga Olegovna.
And then they took 10 vials of blood from me for testing, and I immediately fainted. It's good that my son managed to catch me. Everything ended well.
During the treatment, I had 4 courses of chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplantat. Everything was going like clockwork. I learned to tolerate pain, itching, nausea, and other unpleasant sensations. I didn't want to bother the doctors once again. I was a very composed patient during my 8 months in the hospital. Medical workers jokingly said : "Tatiana is an exclusive, special, legend of our department."
And how else!? After all, when I entered the Department of Hematology and Lymphoma Chemotherapy with Bone Marrow and Hematopoietic Stem Cell Transplantation Unit, the head of the department E.E. Zvonkov told me very important words that became my motto: "You will live!!! Your disease is being treated. I have a male patient who has lived with a disease like yours for 18 years.”
And I thought, "I can do it too! After all, I am a strong person.”
That's how it turned out. I've been at home for 8 months now. My platelets are slowly increasing. They were too low for me after the transplant. I am full of health, strength, energy, happiness, joy and harmony. I am grateful to my illness for showing me that I have not yet fully fulfilled my mission on Earth.
I became an active volunteer of the Orthodox Charity Foundation. Now, as a clinical psychologist, I advise patients who, after learning about a terrible diagnosis, do not want to live, or live in fear thinking about death, or fall into hysterics and depression. I can use my personal example to show and prove to them that diseases are within our power. The stronger a person is, the more difficulties and trials are sent to them from above. And suffering and overcoming our ailments only hardens us and make us stronger.
This is our life exam before God. Therefore, we do not give up and we do not surrender. All people have fears, but it is our choice on whether we live in fear or in love. I choose love and life!
I conduct and produce many concerts at the NMRC for Hematology, and I invite our doctors, donors and patients to the theaters. I conduct diagnostics and testing at the request of patients. I especially like to conduct trainings and master classes. They help people to understand, realize and express their feelings without claims and conflicts, and this makes people healthy and happy.
I urge everyone who is not indifferent to their health: be examined every year and you will live happily ever after!!!
Love yourself, love life, believe that you will cope, and remember that everything in life is given within your strength, and that all difficulties and illnesses on your path can be conquered.
I low bow to all of the doctors at the NMRC for Hematology!!!
Thank you, Lord, for everything!
We will live!!!"
